Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Horsies 1, Steamy Things 0

This just in: Horse beats Horseless Carriage!

Full Story here

Well done, Colonel O'Toole! Oh, might one add that the pony in question came from my stables? No, no, such commentary would be in the category of shameful hucksterism, and would be simply not done.

Not to demean Mr. Deckard's wonderous carriage. Why, I admit to making a Steam Tricycle myself. But really, sobre consideration on the subject leads to the inescapable conclusion that whilst a Steam Dynamo is eminently useful for aeronautical excursions, the wheel, being a mechanical replacement for the leg is by necessity inferior. Using a wheel for terrestrial travel would be akin to using a non-flapping wing for an aeroplane, in essence no better a replacement than a peg leg is for a pirate fellow: a reasonable compromise, yet hardly ideal.


Vi Paravane said...

Not to denigrate your wonderful horses, Virrginia, but I should very much like to pit my steam-powered monocycle against your steed. I have a suspicion that Mr Deckard has designed his machine for safety over velocity, thus giving your mount an advantage. My monowheel, on the other hand, was designed for pure foolishness and is therefore not so encumbered.

Still, the reliability of a horse must be reckoned far greater than any machine's, not to mention that it's better company.

Hotspur O'Toole said...

Miss Paravane, I would gladly volunteer for jockey duties for a Cross Caledon race, if Miss Tombola will allow me to represent her. I also own the monowheel, and agree with you that any race between a horse and your invention should promise to be both wondrously exciting but more importantly a near thing indeed. The monowheel is devilshly fast (and I find, very hard to control in a steep turn).

As a suggestion only, perhaps you could set the course from the Loch Avie telehub to the Port Caledon telehub? They would be easy landmarks.

Virrginia Tombola said...

Not denigrating at all, Miss Paravane! I truly love your fantastic monocyclie; it's everything one might wish in a proper land vehicle: intricate clockwork cogs, fast as the wind, and exciting (perhaps owing to head first nature the rider assumes as she plummets along streets she had never before realized were quite so narrow)

But, I do feel that legged contrivances/animals afford a certain dexterity in turning, and I should be happy as a clam who slept in and missed the clambake should you two wish to have a cross-country match!

/puts cushions out at strategic points along the roadside.

Hotspur O'Toole said...

I might hasten to point out:

"I gave my noble steed a carrot, and Miss Tombola, who raised him, gave him a lump of sugar."

*kaff kaff* I did indeed give credit where credit was due, my capitalist colleague!


Virrginia Tombola said...

Oh, you did indeed! But I find myself abashed to say I unabashedly felt a need to, albeit circuitously, reiterate that point in this humble collection of Aetheric foolcap known as "my blog".

I suppose I am in trade, and once that particular boundry is passed, perhaps one need not be quite so reticent. Still, modest habits persist, however poorly I might have done in the beleagured finishing school where my name is still named with sorrow in the voice.